A change is coming

 

Today, Gus and me have been married for one year. It has been an incredible year! We’ve had so many wonderful opportunities that I can only be thankful for this first year of marriage: There have been a lot of travels both in Mexico and internationally, new challenges professionally, we have been a very happy aunt and uncle, there have been arguments and lots and lots of love, and most importantly a lot of spending time and sharing our life with wonderful people being our family and friends here in Mexico.

Now, change is coming: A month from today we will be living in Germany and everything is about to change: Gus will leave Mexico and live in another country for the first time in his life, he will leave behind his family, his business, his comfort zone and his culture. He will trade his family for mine, his business for a lot of new opportunities and ideas, his comfort zone for new experiences and his culture for a european one. I will change work for university, the mexican easy-going attitude for the german straight way of thinking and one part of our family for another.

It has recently dawned on me that this is really happening, we have started the change by moving boxes, selling things and waiting for Gus’ visa and I have started to realize how hard this is going to be. I have started being all emotional, dreaming weird things about the flight to Germany and my mind is sometimes too full of thoughts concerning this big change to rest and go to sleep. I have done these kind of changes before and I know that it’s hard: Everytime after spending a time (Au-pair, exchange etc.) in another place abroad, I have felt what I am feeling now: Being sad for leaving and having to say goodbye to everyone at this place and being happy for coming back home and to my family. But this time it’s different. This time, I am really, really sad for leaving because I am leaving behind a part of my family. In Mexico, family is everything so of course it’s going to be hard to leave my mexican family that we have spent so much time with! It’s my family – even though they sometimes annoy me, I love each member very much!

Also, I don’t really know, what to expect back in Germany. I mean, of course I know what to expect in a way but I don’t know anything about the current Germany, how society is changing due to politics and immigrants and I have no idea how I am going to survive the winter! Don’t get me wrong, I am so looking forward to living with Gus in Germany! I am so happy to see my german family, to go back to university, to eat my mum’s cake and to drive on streets that have no holes in them! But I am also uncertain about how things are going to be, because they will be different then here in Mexico, for sure.

The good thing is, that I am not alone this time. Gus is going with me and we will be able to share so many things. He will finally understand what’s it like to be away from home, to not always be able to express yourself the way you wish and to not understand why things are done a certain way. In the meantime, I will try to explain german habits to him, help him learn this complicated language, prepare him a mexican meal now and then, have him welcomed in our german family.

I am sure, that our relationship will change as well because our roles will change: Here in Mexico, he is the one that knows what to do, the one that knows how to get things in order and sometimes how to resolve them in another way. He is the “head” of the family here, taking decisions and supporting everyone around him. In Germany, I will be the one who knows how things are done and he will be the outsider. He will have nothing else but himself to worry about for a change and can start a new life in a way, doing the work and the activities that he likes. We will go to a city which is new for both of us, without any friends or family and we’ll figure out life on the way. And if we miss the sun or our mexican family, we will comfort eachother and book the next flight to visit them 😉

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